New Year’s Resolutions
Every so often, I find that I’ve been incredibly stupid. Lately, it’s the whole internship searching thing; the whole fashion thing; the whole journalism thing.
In reality, none of it matters. I want to go into econ, and then law. While my passing fascination with fashion and journalism is fine, it’s fanciful. It’s not my future, as in all reality, with my major of applied mathematics, fashion and journalism is not the future my parents envision and not a “safe choice” for me. Inevitably, this is one of those short blogposts where I look back and say it was a rash moment fueled by something I read or saw or experienced, but I hope that I’ll look back and think of how truly rational I was at this moment.
While Skyping with my best friend yesterday, he told me that he admires all of his friends - for the passion they have and how they have a sense of who they want to be and then use every ounce of energy chasing that idealistic person. And truly, I know my passions, and should I be able to capture them in a perfect amalgam, that would be beautiful, but perhaps I don’t need to - perhaps fashion and journalism was meant to be a skill or an interest, not my bread and butter.
I think I may be done with “exploring” for a while. That was the story of my freshman year - exploring in classes and relationships and life. Now, while a person’s many dimensions makes someone unique and human, it’s time to narrow down my passions - to focus, to concentrate, to give up things I want right now for the everything that I need in the future.
So my new year’s resolutions:
1. To stop doing things that make me excessively stressed out and are not related to my major - I resolve to quit writing so frequently newspaper if it makes me as upset as it did this semester, as hard as I know this would be.
2. To (stop searching for more interests and) to delve further into my passions, because I think I know what they are (indeed, I perhaps always knew), and now my job is to pursue them.
3. To have fun with my major, new and old activities, and friends, because it’s never fun to be miserable while chasing your hopes and dreams.
4. To stop going to extremes with everything. This one is for my bestie; he’s sure to appreciate it.
5. To be healthy - 2012 is the year I turn 20, and if I need to start or maintain habits that will otherwise be lifelong struggles.
6. To do a sub 2 hour half marathon. While more marathons are on a bit of a hold due to injury, etc., half marathons sound reasonable to even my mother.
7. To work on carving out this future that I so desire.
8. To look back at 2012 and say that I tried my very hardest - because I know that I will look back and find that as my biggest regret otherwise.
9. To minimize regrets, and what comes with this is to be willing to put myself in an insecure place of judgment.
10. To make mistakes (non-academic ones) and to learn from them.
Happy New Year!
